Welcome to Time To Press Pause: A Podcast for CEOs by CEOs. I'm your host. Ellen Williams, CEO of The Salient Strategist and today I'm speaking with Steven Foster. He's the founder of One Golden Nugget and publisher of One Golden Nugget: A journey of self-discovery, sharing, wisdom and dream making.
He’s been a serial entrepreneur for over 25 years creating entertainment companies and in his own words, only to watch them fall apart. He attributes One Golden Nugget to changing his life forever. Hi, Steven. It's so great to have you here.
Steven: Thank you for having me, Ellen. What a pleasure. And what a great idea this podcast is. Well done. On the on the initiative. It's great to be here.
Ellen: Thank you. I really appreciate that. So Steven and I have had some conversations around his background and the podcast and I'm really excited to have him here. The first thing is of course, please tell us when in your professional experience or even personal, did you find the need to press pause?
Steven: Yeah, it's a. It's a good question, pressing pause. And I don't think it's one isolated incident. I'm doing it all the time. And the reason I'm doing it all the time is, the great Ray Dealio, who I'm a huge fan of, his nugget of wisdom is “pain plus reflection equals progress.” So, it you know, as an entrepreneur and as a business owner, CEO, whatever, it's my opinion that you're constantly in pain. Because the the growth of life and the growth of the business is constant, is painful, you know, and that's part of the process. You know growth brings pain. So, when it does, you know it comes in, you know, sometimes you're in complete flow and everything's great and then you'll get these pain kind of experiences where you're learning or something's not going right or whatever. So, for me, that's the time to press pause and then reflect. You know what’s the experience teaching me? What's the lesson within it? And if you don't pause and you just carry on through, I have found in my experience that's when mistakes come because you know you're constantly ploughing on and I don't think that's correct. I think it's time to sit back. Listen. Reflect. And then go again and then because within the pain there's these great learnings and there's these, you know the, you know within those challenges, so you learn so much from going through those experiences. So, if you don't pause and reflect, you kind of miss out on the opportunity to learn from it.
Ellen: Yeah, I totally agree. Constant pause. That's a little tricky. I think for some because as you said, a lot of entrepreneurs, CEOs, they're always moving, always forward at least hoping to be moving forward, right. And certainly, growth has different steps, different layers and different challenges that come at each one of those. Could you maybe give us a story about one of the times that you pressed pause?
Steven: Absolutely. A slightly longer pause was maybe 11 years ago when I when I got divorced. And that said, my life completely changed. So actually, at that point I took nearly two months out to, you know, I moved to a different country, and it was an opportunity to reflect and think actually, you know, where am I going next? And I'm so glad I did because, you know, my body and mind needed it. You know? Yeah. When you go through those traumas, which a divorce is or grief or anything like that. In my opinion, that's a different sort of pause. If you’ve got a problem in business and you're pausing, that's one thing. I think those traumas that hit us, and they do for everybody, you know you know my business is collecting wisdom. I've spoken to thousands of people about collecting their one golden nugget of wisdom. So, you learn that actually it you know it's not just you it's everybody we go through those experiences. So that was certainly one time that I paused for a couple of months, and I reinvented myself because that's a great thing. I reinvented myself, you know, three or four times. And to do that and to pause, you know for that couple of months, literally, I didn't really do anything because I had a business that had failed at that point as well. So, it was like, OK, well, you know what am I doing next? So that pause allows you the reflection to do that. So that's a big pause. You know, where I say I'm constantly pausing, sometimes those pauses are an hour, sometimes those pauses are half a day or a day, or maybe a couple of days, but no longer than that in the general scheme of business. I learned that from a guy called Attar Bagshaw, who ran Microsoft Philanthropy for Bill Gates. He's a dear friend. We've collected lots of Nuggets from him, gave away billions to good causes, and I said to him, you know, when it's not working, what are you doing? He goes, “I just pause and go for a walk, collect my thoughts and walk away from the situation.” And I think the time to do that is when you feel it, you know, when you feel resistance in life. And things that just aren't working. You sit there and you're trying to do this and that and there's nothing's happening and it's all, it's all.
Ellen: Exactly.
Steven: It all feels almost like it's falling apart. It's that's the time to pause when you feel it. You know and or you've got you've got cloudy head this morning. I didn't feel so good, you know sat at my desk and I just I'm just not getting anywhere. So, it's just that when I meditated for an hour and I feel that, you know, meditation's very important, you know the the time to pause when you don't feel. You feel it, you know?
Ellen: Yeah, I love that you said pause can be, you know, short just a few minutes, 1/2 hour, an hour going for a walk could be pressing pause. But you did mention, you know, maybe a couple days. And when a CEO takes that step back for a couple days before making a decision. Whatever that decision is. There's a chance that other people are relying on that decision. What kind of advice do you have for how a CEO can communicate the need to press pause to his team so that they're on board with the fact that this decision is maybe larger or more impactful? And it's worth it for the CEO to take the extra time.
Steven: Yeah, I think there's two things there. I think first of all, CEOs being vulnerable is the superpower these days. You know the the the idea of leaders being, you know, fear driven, which certainly in the 80s and 90s they were, right? You know, leaders these days should be vulnerable. So, you should be able to have built an infrastructure and a team to be able to communicate that. And I do. You know sometimes if my mental health is not good, I'm like that, you know I need to I need just to pause on this. I think you just communicate it. Also in this world of instant communication, I think it's a classy thing to pause. I think it's a classy thing to say to people, “Actually, you know, it's Wednesday. I'm gonna come back to you on. Monday about this.” You don't have to necessarily give an explanation. It's like, yeah, I'll come back to you on this. You know, I've found the most competent leaders do that. They don't feel the need to always communicate that they're going to take a pause on a decision. And I also feel that emotion gets caught up in decision making, so the power of the pause allows the emotion to dissipate and to settle. And when it does, then you can make a better decision. That that's based on actual facts. You know, what are the facts? And you know, a great exercise for that is zero based thinking is, is to actually write out, you know, sometimes, you know. If you have a problem. Write it out. What are the facts without emotion? What is the truth? Because the mind can play games on you. You know it. It can come up with scenarios and it can come up with thoughts that are just simply not true. So, you don't engage in that thinking. You take a step back, you pause and it's like you know, everybody's thinking, “OK, what is the truth behind this?” You know the truth is always the truth. So. So that's another reason to pause.
Ellen: I really like that you approached the world and the speed in which everyone communicates, and it's true, there are emails coming in. You know, I got an e-mail this morning that said, “Hey, I didn't hear back from so and so. Can you reach out to them?” And it was less than 24 hours. So, there is this expectation of quick communication and I appreciate that your advice is rather than saying I'm going to pause you simply say, you know, I'll get back to you at a period of time that you feel you're going to need in order to think it through, right? Get to the truth, separate from emotions and be able to give the best decision you can. I think that's great advice and I'm going to start doing that today. I'll get back to you at a certain time, but then then you're able to set expectations so that people aren't eager to hear back from you when they don't. So, I think that's really great advice.
Steven: Yeah, because you know people, we do expect that instant communication and I think it's OK to say, look, you know, I'm gonna get back to you, you know, in X amount of time. You don't feel the need to do anything else. And I think society weighs heavy on you that actually you should be you should be making these decisions you must keep going you must you know what where is it speed, speed, speed. Great leadership these days and building a company isn't about that. It's about the power of the pause. And you know it, it's slowing down as things speed up in this digital world, right? I don't think our brains are capable of keeping up with that. You know, we still have the brain we had back from when man was just crawling out of his cave. Just don't think we're able to keep up at that pace, so you know, but that that's for people to make the decision and say. Actually, you know, yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. This is how I'm gonna run my life. This is how I'm gonna build my life, whatever I'm doing, and it's not based on anyone else's agenda or their expectation of you. Forget that. We had a great nugget once that there is momentum and stillness. You know if you think about time, and really time is an illusion, you know, because there's only ever the present moment. Like the future in the past are just illusions. You know, the past has gone and the future hasn't arrived yet, so there's always just the very the present moment. And what I've learned from doing Nugget is in that present moment, it's about raising vibration and energy. So, you so that you move up.
Ellen: Right.
Steven: So, having that stillness and being very much in the present moment allows you to hear, because life is constantly feeding back, right? The universe is constantly giving you clues and feedback. So being still and being very present allows you to elevate in that position. Rather than at some point in the future, this is gonna happen. No, no. It's always only the present moment. Being mindful and being very, very present in that moment and listening to what the feedback of life is and then making a decision, you know, from then. But having said that, I'm not always great at it.
Ellen: It takes practice for sure. I think. I think you definitely hit on the mark. Mindfulness, mindfulness will definitely bubble up that feeling of it's time to press pause when you're in the moment and you understand the present and what's going on and you're really focused on it. I think to your point, you kind of feel it, you know when it's time to press pause. You had that two-month pause. What was the outcome of being able to really reflect and reinvent yourself after those two months, 11 years ago?
Steven: Well, it was incredible because at the start of the pause, I was living in my office. I had no money. My business had gone bust. I was broke. You know, the whole the life had completely fallen apart. Two months later. I'm living in a beautiful penthouse. Business is rocking because I'd elevated myself in the present moment. I'd shifted vibration. I'd shifted energy, you know. And that's what you need to do sometimes is, you know, bring that positive energy back in and that life force back in so it happens automatically. It's not something you force it just happens and I had that experience. You know, how can you go from one minute living in a couch in your office, broke and torn apart to two months later, having paused, to then be like wow, you know that that that's what happened.
Ellen: Yeah.
Steven: Cream rises to the top, always.
Ellen: In that reinvention, it allowed you to see things differently? To get clarity? You said you raised your vibration and your meditation. You've mentioned mental health. Was it a launch of a new business after those two months?
Steven: Yeah, it was, yeah. Yeah. It was just a replenishment of energy. Because you're, as a body, you're just vibration, energy. That's all you are. It's just energy. So, if you can replenish that energy by taking a pause, what happens is you then get a different life experience because you're on a different frequency to where you were. And listen, this is not my information. This is information that I've collected from people from giving their nugget. I haven't made this thing up. I've spoken to the world’s most amazing people that have told me all the same thing. So, it's not like, oh, this is my idea. I'm not clever enough to, you know, make this sort of stuff up. I just copy what great people tell me and I go and do it and they're all pausing, always. And reflecting.
Ellen: Yeah. Well, certainly everything that you bring to today's podcast is exactly why I invited you to our podcast. You know, your collective knowledge, the work you've done over the years, the people you've spoken to. But it brings you to your approach and the way in which you communicate, and how you live your life, and I think that's really valuable to all the listeners. Certainly, I've already gotten value from our conversation and greatly appreciate it. Do you have any final advice for the listeners?
Steven: The greatest nugget we've ever collected is that you know in life we all want happiness. You know and the route to happiness is kindness. So be kind to everybody. Be kind in business, be kind to everybody. Interactions that you do and from it comes happiness. Forget money. You know money comes just as a result of doing what you do because you are happy you know so it's kindness focus on that be kind to everybody. The world doesn't need anything else right now. Just kindness.
Ellen: That's wonderful. I admit, I'm a work in progress on that.
Steven: We all are.
Ellen: OK, so I'm in good company. I appreciate that. Steven. Thank you so much. It's totally been a pleasure speaking with you. You, you gave us some great Nuggets of your own.
Steven: Thank you, you’re welcome.
Ellen: Thank you for listening to this episode of Time to Press Pause to learn more about Steven Foster, go to onegoldennugget.com to learn more about me, go to thesalientstrategist.com and be sure to join us again wherever you listen to your podcasts.