Welcome to Time To Press Pause: A Podcast for CEOs by CEOs. I'm your host, Ellen Williams, CEO of The Salient Strategist and today I'm speaking with Adrienne Garland. Adrienne is CEO of She Leads Media, a media marketing and visibility consultancy offering women leaders and entrepreneurs strategic consulting, educational content, conferences, and a podcast network to share their stories, thoughts, and opinions with the world. She is dedicated to helping women launch and scale their businesses and gain media visibility for economic and social impact. Hey, Adrienne, it's great to see you. Welcome to Time to Press Pause.
Adrienne: I am so excited to be here. Ellen. I cannot wait to share. I think maybe even more than one story about when I press pause.
Ellen: That would be great. It's nice to hear when people learn from the 1st and understand the value and do it again. So, Adrienne, we've been colleagues, friends, you know, professionals for together for many years. I remember being at one of your events. Maybe a decade ago or you are definitely a pioneer in the strong women movement, and I certainly appreciate that.
Adrienne: Oh my gosh, that is so nice. And it's so funny because yeah, this year is actually the 10th anniversary of the conference. It was under a different name all those years ago. But it's the 10th year because we did take one year off because of COVID, so it's 11 years, but I am calling it the official 10th anniversary this year.
Ellen: Very exciting. So, without further ado, please do share with us your story of pressing pause.
Adrienne: Yeah. And Ellen, I just think that what you're doing is so amazing because we don't often hear the stories of people who have taken a step back. And I think it is so important to bring that to the forefront because we a lot of times in the media just see all of the wins, right and that is probably only 20% of the story, though. There's so many struggles that go on behind the scenes. And when I mentioned earlier that I've probably been through a couple of different pauses, I'm even thinking to myself, man, after the 10th year anniversary of the conference, I might even be thinking about another pause coming up. So pause, you know, and I'm wondering.
Ellen: Future pause?
Adrienne: Should I talk about that? But I think we can think about our maybe our professional selves and a couple of different chapters. I like to think about, you know things as chapters. And my first chapter was really in the corporate world. So before I went out on my own and started the conference and my business, I had been in corporate America. Where I learned a lot about the way that things are and the way that things work. And I had some really great times and I also had some really big lessons, you know, I learned a lot of lessons. Those lessons, I think, led me to where I am today. And where I am today is not necessarily where I thought I would ever be and I don't think that I'm well, I know that I'm not finished yet, I'm and I'm sure that you can. You know, I'm sure that you're not finished yet either, right? We're not done. We're like teenagers.
Ellen: I am just starting my next chapter for sure.
Adrienne: Yeah, and oh my gosh, it's, it's so exciting and interesting. But the first big pause. I would say that I took was when I moved from corporate into entrepreneurship. And I thought that it was going to be an easy transition and it was not. And even after 10 years of being an entrepreneur, I still feel like there's so much more that I need to learn. And I kind of wish that I gave that pause period even more attention and I recognized that it should have been a pause like a power pause. I have a really good power pause. I'm feeling that. I know it's so good. I'm stealing that from a very good friend of mine, Paulina Lopez and she always talks about the power pause because it's that period that you really get to reflect and you're intentional. About what you're doing, the fact that you're taking that pause so that you can move into what’s ever next with deliberate intention. Right.
Ellen: Intention. Yeah, that's the perfect word.
Adrienne: Ohh it's so good and I I always say the power pauses after I heard her say it one time. I'm like, that's brilliant. But, I thought that when you know, because in my corporate life I had been pretty successful without really...doing the things that they sort of taught us to do as we were, you know, going through school, you know? Work hard, do what your boss tells you to do. You know, follow the rules. I did. I did. Well, it sort of worked for me until it didn't anymore. And I think there were a lot of different points in my life that kind of converged, which led me to taking that big pause and deciding that, you know what corporate is not for me anymore, I'm not growing. I'm just doing what everybody else is telling me to do and what they expect of me, and it's not. It's not helping me become the person that I want to be.
Ellen: That's a great way to identify when it's time to press pause. And I love what you said, that it was working for you for a while, right? So what works today doesn't necessarily work a year, two years, five years from now and being cognizant of that and knowing that it was time for you to take that step back and make a different decision.
Adrienne: Yeah.
Ellen: That's great.
Adrienne: Yeah. And, you know, sometimes our pauses are also forced on us, right? So people, you know, I hear people talk about the fact that, you know, if they get laid off it's sort of like the best thing that ever happened to them. And they get to reassess. I did not laid off. I did sort of get put on a performance improvement plan which...
Ellen: I’ve been on those!
Adrienne: Oh my God. I used to hate talking about that story because I felt such shame around it because I'm the type of person that never got, you know, called down to the principal's office or anything like that. As I was such a goody 2 shoes.
Ellen: I spent more time in the principal's office as a mom than I did as a kid.
Adrienne: I love that. I love that right. It's not so bad either. They don't really want to punish you. They just want to help you to sort of correct the behavior. And they're there to support you. Which I don't think that I ever realized that until, same, my kids getting in trouble. But you know, as an adult sort of getting put on a performance improvement plan when you had been the, you know, when I had been the one that was always like top performer or getting the best bonus like all of the good stuff. And then, you know, being faced with being put on a performance improvement plan. It was a real slap in the face to me and a hit to who I thought I was. My ego. And so that one incident and then the subsequent. You know what I did to sort of correct whatever they were trying to correct, which I still don't agree with. But whatever they were trying to correct and the fact that I didn't correct it in the manner with which they wanted it corrected led me to recognize that I didn't belong in the place that I was at. It was super clear to me that I didn't belong in a place that didn't value the things that I valued. And so as soon as it was clear like that, this wasn't going to be a fit, I just had a discussion like what do we need to do to get me out of here because I do not belong here. Like I'm out and it was crystal clear. I didn't even think about the ramifications or anything that was going to come next, you know, until the next day. Now what? And the the pausing moment was like, well, hey, like, this was easy enough to have done so well in, in corporate and to have the confidence to say, well, it doesn't. You know, job doesn't really matter. I can do whatever. I want to do. You know, I have this level of confidence. Let me just start a business with everything that I know and everything that I've done. Easy peasy, right? Oh my God, no. Holy so I I took. I took a couple of months because I had a little bit of a buffer. Because I, you know, negotiated a little package there. So I had a little bit of a buffer and what I did during that time was. I did a lot of, like spiritual things. I think I hired a, it was sort of like a a hybrid coach. That was like a little spiritual, a little professional. I signed up for like, a jogging thing. I went back to just being physical and wanting to get myself in shape because I had sort of gotten away from all of that. So during my pause time, which wasn't very long, I decided that I wanted to get healthy and I wanted to slow down and that what I wanted the next part of my life to be about was more about sort of being around like and. And I know that that sounds weird. But it's like I want it to be around because my job before. That had taken me into New York City every single day I was traveling. I would stay in the city late. I'd work weekends. It was very, very busy. And so when this all happened, I said I want to be around. I want to be around for my kids. I want to be around. For my family, I want to. I want to enjoy the this beautiful town I live in this beautiful town in Long Island and I just want to be around and I want to be there for myself and I want to do that for as long as it sort of works for. Me. And so that's really, you know what I what I started to do and I think what I'm still doing to this day although in these last 10 years there have been a lot of pivots and changes that I've learned from. Which almost leads me to. So what I'm thinking of next because 10 years is like a it's a block of time.
Ellen: It's a good block of time. It's a decade. And lots of things change in 10 years, especially the last 10.
Adrienne: Yeah. And, you know, COVID was sort of in there and that was another reflection point for me to think about. Like what is my business? What am I doing? Especially because I was working at that time with not only my conference, which was an in-person conference, but I was also working with clients that they did all in person events. And I loved it. And then all of a sudden overnight my clients were gone, my business was gone and my revenue fell by, you know, like I, I mean, I think in that year my revenue fell to something like $20,000. I mean it's crazy so and to build back up from there, it's almost like that's starting from zero. Really. It's really starting from zero.
Ellen: Yeah. Yeah, with the exception of having the experience that you bring with you, the relationships you have with you and you know the that's priceless, right?
Adrienne: That's priceless. So it's like. Reimagining what that all means. And I think that what happened. After that is I thought let me build this back up to where it was and. I wish. I went on your podcast at that time because I think maybe I would have been a little bit more reflective about it. Like maybe don't build it back up to what it was, maybe reimagine it as something else. I didn't give myself that time because I was very concerned with just sort. Of building it back up and it hasn't really got into where it was before the pandemic. But one of the gifts that I was given, which was so serendipitous, and I just think was luck. There was a woman that I had. Working for me so, and if you're listening, you know who you are. But she was doing some work for me, and she had been at ESPN for, I think it was like 20 or 25 years. And she knew somebody that was teaching at NYU as an adjunct instructor. And he reached out to her because she's “Miss Super Connector.” And he said, “Do you know anybody that would be interested in potentially teaching and entrepreneurship class at the NYU Tish Center for Hospitality and events?” And she was like, “I know Adrienne, like, right here.” And I spoke to the person that was in charge the next day. They brought me in the next day, and I have been teaching at NYU ever since, which then led me to another opportunity because I was teaching entrepreneurship to teach entrepreneurship at Rice University and their online. MBA program which led me to this other amazing opportunity that I I have that I've done for the last. I think it's 2 1/2 years. Is that I take students on these global field experiences to countries mainly in South America and they work on consulting. Projects for start. Up businesses in in these emerging markets.
Ellen: So yeah, let's pause. Wow, that is quite the evolution of events and change in your life. So, you didn't necessarily take the time to reimagine, but it seems like it happened anyway.
Adrienne: Yeah, it reimagined me and I think that that's why what we were talking about before. I think that it's due time for a pause, not to. You know, maybe, like, burn anything down? But to really assess like. What's next? Because the teaching and the traveling and the helping of like these start up with these startup businesses, is...I just feel like it's everything. It's amazing.
Ellen: So going back to what you said earlier, one of the things you said when you left corporate was it didn't align with your values. And I heard that crystal clear and now the excitement in your voice talking about what you're doing now sounds like. Although it was a little bit of a path that you are very much in alignment with your values.
Adrienne: Very much. And you know, it's funny. I was just sort of cleaning things out the other day because my son is graduating from college and I'm just trying to get everything in. Order, which is I think another reason why it's like the time in my life, because we can't pull things apart, right? Like, as our kids go through the phases of their lives, we are sort of always tracking with them too. So, my oldest son is graduating from college and we're trying to figure out, you know, when he comes home, what are we going to do or what's our house situation going to be and everything. But I was cleaning some stuff out and. I just I you know, I looked in a book that I had written in because I want to also get rid of some stuff and I have in there like. “What do I want to do?” “What do I want to be?” And it's like education, travel, helping women and I'm like, Oh my God. Like I wrote this like. 15,20 years ago. Oh. It's amazing.
Ellen: Amazing. It's amazing what happens when you do stay true to your core values and I'm the more I speak to people the more I find that those pauses where you realign with who you really are, on the other side of that, unforeseen things happen. In addition to things that you start to create. Right. And it makes a big difference. It makes a big difference in just being happy. But I think it also makes a difference in, to refer back to what you said in your performance, right, your performance review. If you're just not feeling it and it's not working anymore, and you're just doing it because, hey, it worked for me and that's what I do. A little bit of a wake up call, right? A performance review and then and then you know, and then a shift or a true, you know, new chapter that's written some great additional chapters. How exciting. So I am definitely excited to see what your next chapter is for sure.
Adrienne: I am too, and you know it's so funny. It's like you hear stories from people and they talk about, you know, the universe has, like, these grand plans for you. And there's totally a part of me that that believes that wholeheartedly. You know, and then there's the other part of me. Like, no, I just don't believe that. You know and. Because I'm a control freak at the same time, right, I think a lot of us are high achievers, right? But really, I do think that there has to be some greater force at work because even. And you were just saying that back to me. I was like, gosh, it is true sometimes like the things that happen to us that we feel like are negative, like a performance review in the moment. I mean, believe me, I was crying. It's not like I, you know, I did not take it lightly. I really was crushed and it took me years to get over it. And so you know. But it was like that thing that said to me, you don't belong here. Like you don't belong here, Adrienne. And you don't fit in, and that feels bad to not feel like you fit in someplace where you think that you should be. But I didn't belong there, and I didn't recognize that I didn't belong there. I really do belong somewhere else. Right. And it's, you know, it's amazing. Some of the things that just like, even literally before we got on this podcast I got a note from a grad student. And she and I just got back from Panama with her. Just it was. The week before last. And she said, like, I just want to thank you for, like, the most amazing experience. I just want to. Keep in touch. With you and that's all it takes for me. I like. I don't know. It just like. That's why I keep doing it because something like that I connected with someone that is. So she's. She's amazing. She's this heart centered person. And I want to be in her life. You know what I mean? So feel like I could be a friend of hers.
Ellen: So now you're getting the opposite signs that this is exactly where you belong.
Adrienne: Exactly, yeah. Yeah, it's incredible. Just when people are like, thank you, you know, and when I'm like, I didn't do anything I was, you know, like I was hanging out, you know, hanging out and shopping.
Ellen: That's the best. That's the best when you don't feel like you're doing anything yet you're getting accolades. You're getting people telling you the impact that you're having. I think that's an amazing crossroad of values and passion. That's exactly where I think we can all live our best life right in that spot.
Adrienne: Yeah, but we're not taught how to get there. You know, we're, very much taught to tamp down those feelings of alignment and follow a certain path that is like a success path. It pulls us away from who we are and what makes our hearts and our souls happy. And we can be successful with all of those things together like we can be happy, we can have, like these joyful, soulful experiences. And, you know, we can earn a great living and impact people in a positive way. We don't have to be miserable and earn a lot of money and think that’s success, but we're not taught how to do that.
Ellen: Yeah, yeah, this reminds me. And we'll wrap it up here because your story was amazing. It reminds me of the movie Baby Boom. And if you saw that it's a, it's an older movie with Diane Keaten. And she's this hotshot advertising executive and she inherits a baby from her sister or some family member who passes in an accident, and so she tries to do both, bring the baby to work, and it doesn't work out. And her boss gives her a very small account. That’s almost like a a performance right, you know, I'm sorry, performance review.
Adrienne: Improvement plan.
Ellen: Yes, and she’s just disappointed and he goes, “We you can't have it all. No one can.” So, she quits, and she buys a huge house up in Vermont and tries to fit in. And she has this huge apple orchard, and she starts making baby food and then she starts selling baby food and then she really starts selling baby food and she comes back. Spoiler alert, everybody. She goes back to this like 50-year-old movie. She comes back in because now they've called her back to the agency because they have a client who wants to buy her business.
Adrienne: Oh my God.
Ellen: So, she comes back and she's back in her suit, and she's sitting at the table, and they offer her, you know, at the time this great, you know, $1,000,000 and an apartment and all that and she goes into the bathroom and she's like, “Yeah, I'm back! I'm back!” and she's walking back to the boardroom, and you see her like contemplating. And she stands there and she's like, “No.” She goes, “I'm going to have to pass. You once told me I can't have it all. But I like my farm and I can do this just as well as you can.” And she goes back to the farm, and she has, you know, she has it all. She has her baby and her life, and you know she can do, she can do it too. So, everything you were just saying sort of reminded me of that. That's for so many years, people said you can't have it all. But I think the definition of all what is the definition of all right? I can have it all. I don't have to have, you know, 100 miles an hour at on all facets. But I should be able to have all facets in harmony in my life, right? I'm not a, I'm not a fan of the word balance, but I think if you can have harmony across all the different facets of your life and really be happy, that's success. Yeah, that's attainable. You can have it all.
Adrienne: I love that, Ellen. I think that's so amazing. Yeah, that's such a great story. And now I want to go watch the movie, baby. But yeah, yeah.
Ellen: It’s called Baby Boom. I love the underdog movies. I've always loved the underdog movies.
Adrienne: Yeah, I love that. That's awesome.
Ellen: So, Adrienne, thank you so much for joining me here today. Great story. Any last words of wisdom advice for CEO's, entrepreneurs that you think you can inspire?
Adrienne: Yeah. Thank you. And I really enjoyed this. Thank you so much for just letting me share my story. I do hope that people can take away a little something from it. I think that it's really important to take pauses often and reflect. I am very focused on women entrepreneurs. And something that I don't do enough and that I think we all need to do is to take pauses and give ourselves credit for how far we have come and how much we have been able to accomplish before we move on to our next thing and next thing. Because I see a lot of women just, you know, accomplishing, accomplishing and not giving ourselves just the credit that we are due. So, let's take more pauses more often to just give ourselves credit, just as like an honoring ritual, maybe.
Ellen: That's great advice. So, we need applause pauses. I love it. That's great advice. Excellent. Thank you so much, Adrienne.
Adrienne: Thank you.
Ellen: Thank you for listening to this episode of Time to Press Pause to learn more about Adrienne Garland, go to sheleadsmedia.com to learn more about me, go to thesalientstrategist.com and be sure to join us again wherever you listen to your podcasts.