Be All In, But Not at All Costs with Alan Furlong

In this episode of "Time To Press Pause: A Podcast for CEOs by CEOs," host Ellen Williams interviews Alan Furlong, Founder of The Peaceful Entrepreneur, who is also a Founder and Senior Leader of three businesses (six, seven and eight-figure turnover) and burnout survivor. Alan's story explores how easily burnout can happen, and the lessons his experience taught him. Now, his new approach to business is a bit unique and allows him to live a peaceful life.

Transcript

Welcome to Time To Press Pause, A Podcast for CEOs by CEOs. I'm your host, Ellen Williams, CEO of The Salient Strategist, and today I'm speaking with Alan Furlong. Alan is the Founder of The Peaceful Entrepreneur, where he advises tech startups to accelerate growth. As a Founder and Senior Leader of three businesses 6, 7, and 8-figure turnover and burnout survivor, Alan learned one Golden Rule the very hard way - consistent daily high performance comes as a result of ensuring we look after ourselves first. Welcome, Alan, I'm so happy to have you on Time To Press Pause. 

Alan: Lovely to be here, Ellen. Thanks very much for the invitation. 

Ellen: My pleasure. I have had the distinct pleasure of speaking with you before. I love everything you're doing. The Peaceful Entrepreneur, I mean, what an awesome concept. And I'm so much, you know, in alignment with that I wear my peace sign all the time. Without further ado, and without me rambling on too much, I am very excited to hear your press pause story. 

Alan:  

It's kind of crazy and it it's a bit like life, you know, it's very unpredictable. So, it started some years back in Australia, I was in banking and doing very well and kept getting promoted and paid more money and it was a classic golden handcuffs scenario. But I was really unhappy, and it was very clear to me this was not something I should be doing long term and so I had this crazy idea that I would leave this very, very secure job and go and set up my own business. I mean, how hard can it be? And that was in 2008 and I think we all remember 2008. So, I came within a couple of weeks of losing about $1,000,000. I was in property, of all things. And so that was a very kind of humbling lesson about just because you know the rules in one game doesn't mean they applied to a completely different game. And so, I had to learn this whole new set of rules about what it really takes to build a business. And then after I was very fortunate, very blessed, that I then went on to build two successful businesses with my then business partner Luke and this was all in Australia. Just before we sold the second business, my wife and I decided to leave Australia because we felt it was more important to be close to family and that turned out to be a very good decision because about two years after we came back to the UK, unfortunately my father died. So at least my young daughters then had spent more time with my father in two years than they had in the previous five or six.  So, there was a series of events that led us back to the UK. I've lived around the world. I stumbled into another business with a small team. We took that business from; it had grown through word of mouth, predominantly over 10 years to about 7 million in revenue. And then I stepped in and, you know, built an amazing team and we took it from 7 to 14 million, 14 to 28 million and then we were acquired. I was running the software engineering site in Ukraine, so I was trying to save people. With the Ukrainian team, we move people W with the Russians invaded. Crazy, crazy time. And then just at the end of that, we were acquired by a global investment bank and a private equity firm. And that's when I decided this place is not for me anymore. That's when I'm really step back from everything, I've made a very conscious choice not to go into, you know, the next startup or the next job. I took some time out. I helped a couple of other businesses. And really decided to use this time to figure out what the next five years is going to look like. And instead of coming up with a very clear plan, which is my normal way of doing things because I think all of us deep down, desperately crave certainty. I know where I'm headed. You know, it's all very clear. I've taken a very different approach, which is really just test what works and you know, not just for me, but potentially for customers. So, what are people wrestling with now and what are the problems that entrepreneurs or business people are wrestling with? And where can I help? And that process is actually still ongoing. I would love to say to you, I've got all the answers and it's really crystal clear. And everything is happy, Ellen, but it's not. It's still challenging to figure out. You know, what is the right next thing? But this has been a very powerful process of not doing what I've done for decades, which is you will straight into the next thing and then straight into the next thing. And I think that's very, you know, often very fear-based for me, it wouldn't have been conscious back then, but it's like, “Oh my God, how am I gonna pay the bills?” or “Oh my God, what people gonna think you know?” That kind of crap, that sort of drives you. So, that's a very long story in six or seven minutes as to how I've got to where I am and why I created The Peaceful Entrepreneur, which was my reflections on you can, you can have it all, but it doesn't have to be at a total expense of your well-being. Your mental health, your relationships with your family. You know all the kinds of mistakes that I've made in the past. So, there you go. That's it in a nutshell. 

Ellen: So, you press pause so that you can have It all and you can prove to people that you can have it all. 

Alan: Yeah, we I think it's defining what having it all is. 

Ellen: Sure. 

Alan: Is really, really important. And you're absolutely right, but done in a way that’s balanced. I mean I do believe you can be all in, but it can't be at all costs. And that's the biggest mistake I made in the past. So, I was all in to the point that I've burned out really badly about 14, 15 years ago, and that was a very dark time for me. I was this kind of ex-rugby playing, beer drinking guy, who was pretty capable and, you know, went from that to not being able to face a telephone call and it was just pure mental, physical, emotional, spiritual exhaustion all wrapped up in one. So, It's been a long process to learn the the disciplines and the science and the daily practices and all of those routines that help me sometimes wrestle with my demons. You know the the doubts and the fears that still arrives, doesn't matter what level of success you have. You know you still got this sort of dark little voice on one shoulder and the light little voice, and this one's getting louder and it, you know, so yeah. They're all of those things have been important about, yeah, you can, you can have it. You can have the balance. You can have, you can have an extraordinary business, a great team, but you can also have a wonderful family life. You can also have meaning in terms of what you do. You can be physically well and healthy and at the end of all of that, hopefully when they put the lid on the coffin, you'll feel that it was a life well, well lived. And you, you've made some kind of positive impact. It doesn't have to be the world, even if it's just for yourself and your family. That's still a life extraordinarily well lived, you know? So that's having it having it all in in my world. 

Ellen: Yeah, I think it is important to define what having it all is because it can be different to, you know, different people for sure. I think you, you definitely, your definition is my definition to have all those different facets working. I tend to call it harmony rather than balance.  

Alan: Lovely. 

Ellen: Because even your physical gestures with your hands being in balance with each other, I think that's difficult. But when you take all facets and they're in harmony because sometimes one part of it is the lead and then sometimes another part of is the lead, but everything is still working together. I go down that path so. 

Alan: I love that. No, I love that metaphor. I think. I think that works. I'll, I'll steal that one, if that's OK. 

Ellen: Be my guest. Happy, happy to have that happen. So, your story was definitely a good background to your pressing pause. It sounds like you pressed pause a couple of times within there, though, certainly going from corporate golden handcuffs to working on your own and you said, “You know, oh, how hard could it be?” What were some of the lessons that you learned? Because obviously it's more difficult than people think. 

Alan: So, I went from being paid $250,000 a year, working 12 hours a day to being paid nothing, working 14 hours a day. That was, I think the the three biggest lessons for me was get educated before you jump. Don't just walk into something because you think you've got the skills, because life will teach you the hard way. The second one was, be around experienced people. So, luckily, I stumbled upon a mentor who's a multi-millionaire and he kind of put me through a sort of Marine’s boot camp working with him. And you know, for without a doubt that period had a profound impact on my skill set. And the third one was about courage. I got to understand I was much more courageous probably than I realized. And looking back, it's really funny because I did a lot of stage work. I was, I talked on big conferences and that kind of thing for one of the businesses that we had. And I stumbled on one of the videos from back in 2010. And I look at this guy on stage, walking up and down in front of, you know, hundreds of people at the Versace Hotel. Nobody knew that that was my idea of terror, public speaking. And there I was for three days walking up and down, talking about, at the time, Internet marketing, digital marketing. I realized it was a very courageous guy, so that was the other thing. That was the lesson for me. That courage is here. You know, I think we have a lot more than we all realize. And it's only when we step on to whatever our version of the stage is that we realize, “Actually I'm a braver person than I think.” Now for some people that may be just being in a networking event and shaking the hand of a stranger. Right? But that's OK. That's still to me tremendous courage to other people that's joining the military and doing remarkable things. So, they're the three lessons that I learned. It was very, very painful and extraordinarily tough, but I don't regret single second, not a single second. 

Ellen: I can imagine not. Those are great lessons, certainly. Learn before you jump. Right? Have a little bit of an education before you take that leap of faith, which I think it is. I call it a leap of faith. I've.  

Alan: Yeah.  

Ellen: I've gone from employee to entrepreneur back and forth several times within my career and, one of, not this this time, but the the last time I did it, I looked at my husband, I said, “It's time for me to take a leap of faith again,” and he was like, “OK, let's do this.” Right? This time I'm much better prepared. I think I have definitely the education. I definitely spent a lot of time speaking with people who had experience. And I have definitely explored my own courage. In fact, when I started The Salient Strategist, someone said to me, “Oh, you're so brave to do that.” Luckily, this time I planned, so I felt less brave this time and more secure. Like, “Alright, I've been here, done this.” I know from the mistakes of the past not to remake those. Not that there aren't new ones around the corner, but I definitely, I didn't feel like I was being brave this time. I felt like I was in the right place at the right time, finally. You know, and entrepreneurs have all these dreams, and sometimes they don't work out, and sometimes it's just you're not in the right place at the right time. 

Alan: Yeah, for sure. I mean, I don't think it works out most of the time and I don't see people acknowledging that. I'm OK if this doesn't work out. You know that's OK because it will naturally lead you on to something else. I was listening to Denzel Washington talking about, “I never had a Plan B because if I failed, I would always fail forward.” And I totally get that. It's OK if these things don't work. Most of these really successful entrepreneurs I know have had multiple quote, unquote “failures,” but it bounces them to the next thing and the next thing. Life will always take you to the right place, if you trust it, you know, That's always been my experience too. I just, I'm OK now with the fact that if this doesn't work. It will still lead me to whatever will work and as you said, it's less scary because you're more prepared because you're more experienced. But if The Salient Strategist grows and you end it with the team and then investors come running around, it gets scary again. You know, you just go up another level. So. So hopefully that that's your journey. I totally get it. I totally get that I'm OK with this piece. I think it comes from you can only be OK right now if you've done the hard yards prior and you definitely have. So yeah, I get it. 

Ellen: Yeah, experience. Really, there's no substitute.  I wanna just go back to one thing you said. Your quote from Denzel Washington that he didn't have a Plan B, but it sounds like after your pause, you, you might not even have a Plan A. You're sort of taking things as they come. 

Alan: Yeah, it's uh, it's, no to me, this is real kind of sort of jumping out of the plane, not knowing whether you're parachutes properly strapped on. Sometimes we, we need to be really, really clear about what we're bringing to the world. And I'm not in that place at the minute. What I'm really, really clear about is what problems am I trying to unearth that I think I might be able to address? So, you know, I've got, I've got clients that are supporting who are wanting to grow their business. And I can do that. I looking at holding retreats for entrepreneurs just so they can, you know, to use your terms, press pause. Even if it's a micro pause for two or three days to kind of decompress so you know no reset, but literally just take the temperature down so that you can think clearly again. But the truth of the matter is, I've not sat on any of these things yet because I'm not clear yet on what is it people are really, really wrestling with. And the only way I can be is by speaking to as many people and as I can and testing the the water. So, you're right, I don't have a clear Plan A. That means I definitely don't have a Plan B. I'm OK with that. Now, for a lot of people that is super counterintuitive and deeply uncomfortable and I totally get it. But the miss of life is that somehow it's certain, and it's not. In a nanosecond your life can change. 

Ellen: So you're definitely, not coming from a place of fear anymore. And so many entrepreneurs do. And I definitely personally struggle with that. And every time I start to worry I take a step back and I go, “You know what? Everything will be OK just, you know, keep going the way you think you need to go.” And I do believe that. When you're on the right path, the rest of it sort of appears ahead of you, right? It rolls out in front of you, and when things don't appear to be going the way you expect it and I, I admit yes, I expect some things, then you know, you have to pause and say, “OK, what do I do with this?” 

Alan: And no business is a straight line. It's just kind of an elegant zigzag to towards success. I do live with fear. I've lived with fear since I was a child and like you, I wrestle with it every day. So, for me this is a, you know, this discomfort is something that I dance with all of the time. And so that voice that, that both you and I are hearing nearly every day I just gently ask to sit in the back seat. I don't want to drive in the car today. But there are days where, man, it climbs into the front seat and it's hollering in the ear. They're really difficult days. I don't know a single human being who doesn't have that experience regularly. If they are on their edge. You know, most people aren't. One of the phrases that have literally lived with me ever since I left the bank, it was one of the phrases that helped me leave the bank, is Thoreau’s quote, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to their graves with their songs still inside them.” And I was determined that wouldn't be me. I was determined that I wouldn't pass this opportunity of life. 

Ellen: Alan, I think that's amazing advice. I love the quote from Thoreau. I definitely want to sing now and not take my song to my grave. I'll try to keep that fear in the backseat. I mean, you're so quotable, I've been taking notes through the whole thing and I'd really appreciate it. 

Alan: Well, I think. And then just again for transparency, just in case there's any Liz Gilbert fans here. Yeah, I think it was Liz Gilbert, the Pray Love author who talked about, you know, trying to keep hearing about. And I loved it. And it's kind of it's just stuck in there. But yeah, I think it's. I think for all of us, particularly entrepreneurs, founders, CEOs, it's very lonely. It's really lonely. And if anything's gonna get you in terms of fears and worries and self-doubt, it's loneliness. So, I think what you're doing in terms of this podcast and bringing other founders, and see us to talk about their experiences is important because then you go, “OK? I'm not alone.” I totally get it, what you're doing, and I think it's important because that loneliness has definitely got its downside. 

Ellen: For sure, and I appreciate that. Thank you so much for the kind words. Thank you for your advice. And thank you for being an amazing guest here on Time To Press Pause. 

Alan: It's been an absolute pleasure. Great to hang out with you.

Ellen: Thank you for listening to this episode of Time To Press Pause. To learn more about Alan Furlong, go to thepeacefulentrepreneur.com. To learn more about me, go to thesalientstrategist.com and be sure to join us again wherever you listen to your podcast.