Press Pause for Alignment: Stephanie Vaughan on Listening to Your Emotions

What happens when your career no longer aligns with your values?

In this episode, Ellen Williams speaks with Stephanie Vaughan, Vice President of Coaching at TM3, about pressing pause to realign your life, family, and purpose. 

From walking away from corporate success to finding fulfillment through intention and emotional awareness, Stephanie shares how listening to your emotions can lead you to the right next step, both in business and at home. 

They discuss: 

• The moment Stephanie realized her career no longer aligned with her values
• How she turned a leap of faith into a 20-year coaching legacy
• What it really means to balance family, purpose, and ambition
• Why “listening to your emotions” is one of the most powerful leadership tools

If you’ve ever felt torn between career and family, or struggled to slow down long enough to hear what your next chapter might be, this episode will speak directly to you. 

To learn more about Ellen, please visit: https://thesalientstrategist.com/

Transcript

Speaker 1 

My biggest advice is listen to your emotions and allow yourself to be quiet. Give yourself permission. 

Speaker 2 

Welcome to Time to Press Pause, real life stories from the C-suite. I'm your host, Ellen Williams, CEO of The Salient Strategist. And today the conversation revolves around pressing pause for your family, but still being able to maintain a career. My guest today is Stephanie Vaughn, Vice President of Coaching for TM3 and a recognized leader in business growth and leadership transformation. With more than two decades of experience, she helps coaches, C-level executives, and business owners break from excuses, procrastination, and limiting beliefs to achieve measurable, lasting results. Stephanie has worked alongside some of the most respected names in business, including Tony Robbins, Chet Holmes, Jay Levinson, Ron Legrand, and Jay Abram. Beyond her professional achievements, Stephanie treasures her role as a proud mother of two amazing children and celebrates life with her husband and best friend. She prioritizes health, family, and personal well-being, living out the same principles of balance, growth, and fulfillment that she champions for the leaders she coaches. Welcome, Stephanie, to Time to Press Pause. 

Speaker 1 

Thank you. 

Speaker 2 

I'm happy to be here. Stephanie, we had the opportunity to chat a little bit about your press pause story a few months ago, and I'm so happy you're here today. And I'm really excited to have you share your story with the listeners. 

Speaker 1 

So I was interested when I was like, what is this whole press pause thing about? And what does that really mean? And I do think that there's times in our lives where we're faced with needing to take a step back and reevaluate where we are. Press pause story that really sticks out for me happened almost 20 years ago was the catalyst for so many things that ended up happening in my life, which I think is also another thing that we get to learn from because Tony Robbins says it's in our decisions that our destiny is shaped. When we make pivotal decisions in alignment with what's important to us and what's in our lives, I think the more you can see how the world begins to unfold before you much more naturally and much more flows more easily versus trying to force things to happen. About 20 years ago, I had been working in the corporate world and was very blessed to have all the experience. I worked for AT&T and then I worked for several CRM companies and data and technology companies. I was heavily involved with developing, managing, and facilitating training for internal sales organizations. I loved it. I was traveling all around the world. I loved the person I reported to, had a lot of really great support, met a lot of incredible people, went to Korea, China, the UK, and France. There's just a lot of really amazing places and amazing people. Then I got married and I got pregnant when that happens. Your whole lens of how the world looks changes. When I had my firstborn, which was my son, I went on maternity leave as normal, and I came back three months later. And the day I came back, my manager said, I just saved you from going to Hong Kong. He goes, I know you're not ready for that, having a newborn. And so I was like, thank you so much, because you could have just taken my heart and put it on a platter. He had enough EQ and we had a great enough relationship that he recognized that would have been incredibly hard for me. But it was the beginning of me reevaluating what was important in my life prior to having a child. My priorities were different and coming back, recognizing that I still wanted a career and I still wanted to work and I still had a lot of things in me that I needed to do in my life business wise. And yet I also had this little human that I was taking care of. While I was working for the corporate world, my husband was working with Chet Holmes, the business growth expert. They were beginning this company. Chet had worked with Jay Abraham and then went on his own and then began working with my husband. And they had kept coming to me, come work with us, come work with us, come work with us. And I'm like, I'm a corporate girl. I love what I'm doing. I'm making good money, got lots of flexibility. But when I had my child, it was a different situation. This is where I took the pause, needing to take a step back in my life and deciding what was most important for me. I think a lot of people I work with, because I work with business owners and have for the past two decades, that a lot of times business owners and entrepreneurs knew they were entrepreneurs when they were really young. They're like, oh, I sold lemonade and hair and I did this at school, or I sold stickers of this, or I went door to door. I wasn't that. I'm almost like an accidental entrepreneur because I like the structure. I ended up deciding to quit. My son was born in March and I quit in October of that year. It was the hardest decision I've ever made in my career. It was incredibly difficult. I didn't know if I was making the right decision, but I think it goes back to listening to your heart, taking that moment of reflection and really listening to what's important to you and your priorities and being in alignment with that. So I quit and I decided to start working with Chet and my husband Ted. About 2 weeks into my employment. Chet came to me and said, in addition to the sales and marketing you're doing, I think you'd be great overseeing our coaching department. He said, it's really small. There's only three people in this coaching department. It's not profitable. We have a finance guy overseeing it right now. He's a great guy, but he's in the wrong role. I think he would do a bang up job in this. The coaching is all about Do you know how a lot of times programs are sold and they just become shelfware, right? The intention is good, but people don't necessarily open it up and use it. The whole intent with the coaching was to get people to about their mastery program, to open it up, start using it, start holding them accountable to getting their results. We were all very results driven. I said, sure, this is great. I'd done a lot of informal coaching, mentoring and tutoring in my career. I started doing that and Eventually it grabbed on a little more. I worked closely with Chad and it became the most profitable division in the company. And we ended up having 80 coaches and we saw so many different opportunities, but it opened up this door of possibility for me in getting an alignment with where my true talent is and how I can best support and help people. Since then, for the past two decades, I have personally coached hundreds of companies and ran multiple coaching organizations, including Business Breakthroughs International, which was a partnership between Tony Robbins and Chad Holmes. The connections and the people I've had the privilege of meeting and working with opened up all these doors of possibilities. And so I think that my pressing pause, recognizing where I needed to be in alignment in my life and what was important in prioritizing that. I think sometimes we prioritize the wrong things because we think those things are the things that we need to put ahead of everything else. And what I recognized, and I'm in a new phase in my life because my son's in his third year of college and my daughter is starting college this year, we're moving into this next chapter. and reevaluating, where, what's important, what are we going to do, what do we get to create that, because we've had so much dedication to our careers and our children. I'm not going anywhere. I still have lots to do in my own career and what we're doing. I think it's so important that we get into that alignment with who we are. 

Speaker 2 

That's a great story. I have lots of notes. And some things I definitely want to touch on. So first, I just want to react to Tony Robbins and decisions that shape your destiny. I've had plenty of press pause stories. I could probably do this podcast forever with just my own stories. There's one that I've told multiple times about when I had my three kids and they were playing outside and I was sitting in my bedroom just like, there's gotta be more to life than this, the car, the picket fence, the house. I picked up a book by Tony Robbins called Awaken the Giant Within. It launched my spiritual journey. I say a lot of times now to people, every decision I've made in my past has led me to this moment. You can look back and say, oh, I wish I had done something differently. But if you're happy where you are, and I'm happy to say I'm happy where I am, maybe not every decision was the best decision, but it all led me here. I am totally on board with that. What you were talking about was priorities. 

Speaker 1 

Priorities. 

Speaker 2 

And I have heard this from other female guests, that the kids had changed everything. And so you obviously recognized that, you felt that through your heart, your body. You just knew this needed to change. But you also said people prioritize the wrong thing. Can you elaborate a little bit? 

Speaker 1 

Well, I think when we don't know our true core values, and I think that my husband refers virtues, right? And when we move away from our virtues and the things like what we think other people expect of us, the pressure of being a certain way or having to live up to the pressures of society, I think we get further and further away from our true core purpose, when we focus on others think we need to be doing, is usually when we're misaligned in our own life. Even in working with Tony and a lot of other people I've had a chance to learn from and grow from, it's just an evolution. You never get there. But when I made that decision, everything completely opened up for me. Everything just unfolded. I see it like a stream. We all have this of abundance that comes to us, this stream that's natural and it flows easily. And most of us are standing next to it versus being in it. I have experienced that many times where I find myself fighting against it. I'm fighting against the current, the burnout and the challenge. The more that we can spend time, you know, whether it's through prayer or meditation, quiet, journaling, to get back into alignment, things go so much easier. We've been raised to say, push through, pull yourself up from your bootstraps and it's hard work. I think that we create a lot more of that than what's really needed. 

Speaker 2 

I totally agree. I'm a very visual person, so I love your stream analogy. As you were talking, I could see myself skipping in and out of it. I play with the stream all the time. I totally see that. There are times when you feel like you're just in the zone. And things are just coming to you. And it's like, wow, how did this happen? And then it doesn't, right? And you're like, what happened? I think you're right in all of what you're saying from the decisions we make. We are really dictating when we're in that stream and when we're not. And to your point about prioritizing the wrong thing, and thank you for elaborating on that, external validation. Who does everyone think I should be? What should I be doing? So that whole work-life balance thing, I've never really been a balance fan. I try to think of it as harmony. Some days the family takes the attention and other days work takes attention and other days health takes attention and chores and things like that. As long as Everyone gets the attention they need. It's more of a harmony than balance. Now you're saying your kids are older, right? My kids are older too. And now I have grandkids, so I get to start the whole thing all over again. Are your priorities changing, but not because you've changed them, but because the situation has changed, allowing your priorities to change? It's an external source, right? They grew up. 

Speaker 1 

I think that My priorities, it's always been my family, first and foremost. I've said this to my clients, do you live to work or do you work to live? You get to choose that. I've been very thankful that I've been able to be there for my kids because I've worked out of my home for almost 25 years, even before I started doing this other line of work. I was able to still have a very successful career and make an impact in people's lives and still be there for my family. I think that's a unique position that a lot of moms don't get who want to have her career. And so I'm very thankful for that. I'm very close with my kids. I have a very special relationship with my kids. They're awesome humans. I just went to Italy with my daughter to celebrate her graduating from high school. She was an exceptional student and worked really hard and I wanted to celebrate her successes. And she's 18 and we're in Italy and she can have a drink. So funny. This is such a different experience because now we're moving into having more of a friendship. Although I've always told both my kids, I will always be your mom. We're also exploring being friends and building a different kind of relationship of mutual respect and understanding. The more I spend time with my kids, the more I recognize how they are so much smarter than me in so many ways, right? There's those moments where you're just like, oh my God, I am not the smartest one in the room right now. It's confronting in a way. On one hand, you want to be that person for them. Yet, if you can relinquish that feeling that you have to be the one that knows everything and guide them through everything, it's like, we've done our job. Your kids are older and might have an 18 and a 20 year old. Now we've done our job. We've prepared them to be adults. I respect stay-at-home moms and I respect it is absolutely 100% a job. There's a time where they come to this time in their lives and they're like, who am I? My mom is very much like that. I saw her get so lost in her family. And I so appreciated her dedication and her sacrifice to do that, but I think she just lost such a sense of herself. And I think her parents' generation was a lot more like that. So I don't feel like I need to go find myself. I just think I need to go find my new place. Where does that fit and what does that look like? My daughter and I were having the conversation as we had many conversations on our trip. And she says, I'm excited for you because you have spent 18 years taking care of us, healing us when we're sick, worrying and thinking about everything. She goes, this is your time. This is your time to go back and reconnect with yourself in a different way. 

Speaker 2 

There's a half-truth. Your job's not over. You're never going to stop worrying and thinking. The difference is you don't have to travel them around. When they went to college, I didn't realize it because I wasn't stressed. By the time they went to college, I had remarried. Life was great. Everyone got along in the house. When they moved out, there was this relaxation. My shoulders finally came down because I didn't have to think about where they were, who's picking them up, how do they have something to do tonight? There was always in the back of your head. And not that it was stressful. It was just something you needed to coordinate. So that will go away, right? And that's the re-prioritization is not so much that your family doesn't come first anymore. It's just not going to take up as much time. 

Speaker 1 

Yeah. 

Speaker 2 

But yeah, it's really fascinating watching them become adults and the questions they have and the experiences they share. My kids are in their 30s and I'm a grandmother. So It's a whole different conversation. This has been really great, Stephanie. I have one last question for you. Of course. What advice do you have for other leaders to when they would identify, it's time to press pause? 

Speaker 1 

I think our emotions are our barometers in this fast-paced world. We're constantly overstimulated. We rarely take the time to connect with our emotions. I remember sitting in Italy the day we were leaving to go back to Rome. I was in Cerullo, beautiful beach town. I was sitting there looking out over the cliff and the ocean breeze was coming in and I got really choked up. I actually got really emotional. What I realized is I haven't taken a lot of that time. I've allowed myself to stay busy and keep my mind constantly occupied, maybe because I'm dreading the thought of my daughter leaving. I'm not quite ready to process that. And my biggest advice is, listen to your emotions and allow yourself to be quiet. Give yourself permission to take those moments of solitude, whether it's 10 minutes, 15 minutes. And I'm the worst at it. I'm the worst net to crack. So that's why I'm also giving that advice because I know when I do it and I finally have a chance to still breathe and take it in and put my phone to the side and get centered and to do that daily. Even if it's for 10 minutes, it's in those times of quiet and stillness that we can connect with our emotions that then help us identify, are things flowing freely to me? Do things feel easy? There's been such an unrest in the world. And every time we go on social media, there's always something negative and awful or the news. We need to find a way of connecting with the good as well. That has to be intentional because it's not going to naturally come. People like to feed the violence, the toxicity, and the negativity. We need to live with intention. 

Speaker 2 

So you're advocating for frequent causes to make sure you're connected with your emotions and that you take actions with intention. 

Speaker 1 

Listen to him. 

Speaker 2 

Great advice. Thank you, Stephanie, for being here today. I really enjoyed the conversation. 

Speaker 1 

Thanks for having me on. I appreciate it. 

Speaker 2 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Time to Press Pause. If you're interested in learning more about Stephanie, visit tedmiller3.com. If you're interested in learning more about me, visit thesalientstrategist.com. To stay ahead of what's happening at Time to Press Pause and learn more about my upcoming book, please sign up for our newsletter and listen again wherever you listen to your podcasts.